Suspected husband sent clothes to female colleagues, father-in-law seriously ill do not visit, 30 years of husband and wife why lose trust?
A Ying and A Jun, a fujian woman, have been married for 30 years and have a son. They are an old married couple. But a few days ago, A Ying found two women’s clothes in her husband’s online shopping record.Ying was surprised. She had not received any clothes and had never heard her husband talk about it. Who did he buy them for?Is there something wrong out there?A Ying from her husband’s mouth can not cover any words, she quietly went to the express some tune video, want to see which woman took the express, don’t say, also really saw a woman, is her husband with the factory’s female colleagues a sweet.A Ying could not bear this tone, went directly to the factory to find a xiang, asked a xiang to give a reasonable explanation.Ah Xiang meng, a Ying said, this express is my own buy, and a Jun have what relation?Two people for this make too much, finally or the factory director came forward to forcibly open, this matter made a boiling uproar, let a Jun evaluation in the factory are affected.A Ying said to a Jun, you just admit your mistake, and I will forgive you if you don’t buy clothes for others.A Jun does not admit at all, obviously have no matter, after all how admit?Why can’t Jun explain this matter clearly?Because the purchase was from last year, he couldn’t remember it, so he had to think about it.A Jun did not show face A Jun finally think of, originally, these two clothes are at the outset oneself to the friend new open net shop brush sheet when buy, brush sheet to help a friend at that time is not he, but a lot of friends.Jun pulled up his payment record and found that 109.8 yuan was paid, but 117.8 yuan was later returned. After all, Jun made 8 yuan.To be sure, Ayeen’s suspicions were groundless, and in this case she was wrong about her husband, but it was clear that even after 30 years of marriage, she still cared about him.Perhaps it is jun did not explain clearly for the first time, just let her lose her mind and a xiang.After this matter, although the husband and wife no longer dispute, but each other also appeared cracks, less and less.Logically speaking, so little thing, unapt to cause such bad blood, is there other contradictions between husband and wife?Indeed, in recent years, Ying has felt the cold from her husband. They communicate less and quarrel more and more.When other couples quarrel, it is the wife who picks up the quilt and goes to another room to sleep, while when A Jun and a Ying quarrel, it is she who picks up the quilt and goes to another room to sleep. It is not the wife who does not like her husband, but the husband who does not like her wife. Therefore, do not accuse A Ying of being overly sensitive after reading online shopping records.A Ying a Jun did not care about a Ying, but a Ying went out to play every night and came back late, sometimes not at all. At first, A Jun called her to urge her to come back, but after urging her once or twice without success, he stopped calling her.And a Ying feels aggrieved, she is playing outside with friend, because return home feels cold, husband does not care about her, even if she comes back, a Jun also intentionally hide out.Visible, two people are in a cold war between the state, each other want to care about each other, but each other are twisting force.There are also reasons for their different personalities. A Ying is impatient and speaks bluntly without considering the feelings of each other, while A Jun is slow and unable to express himself. The long-term backlog in life causes both sides to walk further and further away.And cause the estrangement of both sides to move to the table, there is another thing, a Ying’s father-in-law, that is, a jun’s father, suffered from cancer a few years ago, the doctor told the couple, the old man’s disease is terminal, difficult to cure, not as much as accompany.Ying thought, since father-in-law can only spend more money in the hospital, it is better to return home for conservative treatment.Ying was in charge of everything in the family, and she was in charge of money at ordinary times. There were hundreds of thousands in her hand, which she planned to leave to her son.So she explained to her husband that she wanted her husband to go to Fuzhou and bring her father-in-law back.Ah Jun shopping records from innocent ah Ying expression is not right, ah Jun listened to die, see his wife only gave 1000 yuan, think about his father during the hospital, his wife from the hospital in the future to see his father, so there are great opinions on a Ying.Jun feel his wife to his father so cold, her heart will not have their own.A Ying still felt aggrieved. It was not that she did not want to see her father-in-law, but that she kept white mushrooms worth hundreds of thousands of yuan at home, and usually depended on her own careful care. If she went to see her father-in-law, it was inevitable that she would bring back bacteria in the hospital.For a Ying’s argument, a Jun felt unreasonable, from home to Fuzhou three hours by car, do not want to come is do not want to come, and raise a mushroom have so delicate?After that, Ah Jun began to be indifferent to A Ying, especially after the death of his father.The two sides also have differences about money, A Ying has been wanting to let a jun pay, a Jun did not agree, he has 5,000 yuan salary every month, a Ying’s income comes from raising mushrooms, usually a jun out of utilities, big head a Ying out.A Ying considers for the son, want to plan money long-term so, and a Jun needs favors to contact, money is needed in the hand.It can be seen that there is no contradiction of principle between husband and wife. It is a small matter accumulated over a long period of time, which makes them distrust each other.Aying aying was wrong. As a wife, she did not consider the details of the problem and did not care about her husband’s feelings.A Ying has two ways to deal with things that are worth discussing. The first thing is to directly go to her husband’s factory to question A Xiang, which leads to her husband being talked about behind his back.Jung o no matter how wrong on this issue, ingrid should be behind closed doors to tackle the problem, especially under the premise of not caught her husband real hammer handle, inexplicably went to the noisy, whatever the truth, don’t make allowance for each other, this is a handsome man is honest, change a man, after a wife so restlessly, might really left.The other thing is about the hospitalization of her father-in-law. Ayeng is indeed indifferent, with too little action and too much talk.Father-in-law cancer hospital, time is running out, as a daughter-in-law, in any case should go to see, the so-called fear of mushrooms infected with bacteria, is to say that feelings or not in place, mushrooms are important, there are people important?Father-in-law until death, daughter-in-law did not visit, and at the beginning of the choice of treatment plan, a British expression also caused ambiguity, let a Jun think she did not want to tube father, as a husband how can a Jun indifferent?Obviously, A Ying is usually a careless person, dealing with the details of the problem is worth discussing.The mediator’s persuasion of A Ying a Jun is also inappropriate. In terms of communication, he should be strengthened. His poor communication is also the cause of the conflict between husband and wife.A Jun is an honest man of not good speech, at the beginning a Ying marries him, took a shine to his honest duty namely, but honest duty does not equal to abandon the power that expresses oneself, just let wife misunderstanding to him more and more deep.Take online shopping clothes for example, it is very easy to solve, if a Jun in the first time to explain this matter, there will be no follow-up, and the solution is very simple, just need to take out the shopping records to his wife to see at a glance.Jun did forget the cause of this thing at that time, but after his wife made a sweet, why think of it again?It shows that he did not take it to heart at the first time, and only after his wife made such a fuss did he want to seriously solve it, which ultimately brought bad influence to himself.In his wife does not visit his father in this respect, a Jun is reasonable, but he should express his ideas clearly, as long as a Ying is a reasonable person, will go to visit, but a Jun still put words in his heart, until his father died also did not solve, finally in the cold war way to deal with, very inappropriate.A Jun is not good at expression, brought a lot of trouble to oneself, regard as the Lord of a family, must let the wife understand his idea ability to be right.A Ying to pay a lot for the family between the relationship of the problem, often not from the external crisis, but from the internal cracks, give each other more care and trust, is the key to maintain a stable relationship.The fact proves, a Jun is outside what thing do not have, it is false alarm, even if occupy, also be because the feeling between husband and wife gives something to settle a matter first, any fortress is interior to conquer.A Ying for a Jun lack of understanding and care, she is in a dominant position at home, so used to let a Jun everywhere let yourself, A Jun submissive, not only used to a Ying don’t take yourself seriously mentality, but also let yourself suffer.A Jun also lacks understanding of a Ying. After all, a Ying has been married for so many years. She is the one who handles all matters and small matters in the family.Couples with different personalities can obviously complement each other, but if the two sides do not work together, different personalities will repel each other instead, but the extrovert repels in a more direct way, while the introvert repels in a more indifferent way. No matter which way, it will eventually become hurtful.After 30 years of marriage, we should know each other very well, and this is not the right thing to do.Mediation site conclusion: if the husband and wife do not have a clear principle error, there is no irreconcilable contradiction, there is no complete emotional breakdown, or should be more attention to marriage as well.A Ying and a Jun did not make mistakes in principle, did not betray feelings, the misunderstanding between each other in the past also understand the truth, there is no basis for destroying marriage.In the online shopping record this matter, it can be seen that a Ying still care about her husband, a Ying does not go home at night this matter, also can be seen that a Jun also care about his wife, indicating that there are still feelings between husband and wife.Therefore, both of them need to change themselves. A-ying needs to be more patient with her husband, and A-Jun needs to be more enthusiastic about her husband.Even for the sake of their children, life can’t get colder and colder and duller, right?